Does it ever feel that life is happening to you, around you, pushing and pulling you in every direction without being able to determine which way is up? Sometimes, it seems easier to numb out, block or ignore our feelings, and just run on auto-pilot, waiting until things settle down, when we can get back to…well, back to whatever it is that we desire.
So we get into this pattern of numbing and spinning and keeping busy doing things, mostly for others, and we sacrifice our sleep, our physical health, and our emotional well-being, because we truly believe that we will do “our things” after we take care of this for “them”, and once I accomplish “this” I will be able to do “that”. Waiting…always waiting…for the time to be right…for the money to be abundant…for the time to open up in our schedules…for our kids to be independent…for our sick loved ones to recover…even sometimes for healing to occur within ourselves.
But how can we expect healing to occur within ourselves if we don’t make the time to tend to ourselves? Healing requires a certain amount of energy to be directed inward, and a certain amount of rest. If we are constantly giving all of our energy away to others, we cannot possibly expect to heal. Do you see the problem here?
Here’s the thing…when we numb the undesirable emotions, we also numb joy and happiness. It can be so easy to numb, just to get through this moment, this activity, this day, this week, this month, this season…until we have lost years of our lives and actually engaging with the people we cherish. We give and give and give of ourselves, at what expense? Sometimes, we can put all of our time and energy and resources into filling other cups or buckets or hearts, that we start to resent "them" - the people we live for and love. This results in leaning towards a victim mindset, wondering “why doesn’t anyone fill MY cup?”